Cost of Worship

The current religious tension in my country and church burning brought a question to my mind: what is the cost of our worship? The question brings me back over one and a half decade and across many miles to my three years in university.

I remember my first winter in England where I was still searching for a house of worship where I can belong to. I endured through those long hours of walking all by myself bracing through frozebites and physical numbness and eventually discovered that many churches inside England were actually colder than the winter night outside (I'm referring to the temperature of hospitality). That never stop me from walking many more miles to hunt for the "perfect church" that God has prepared for me. That was what I thought. My heart was burning.

To cut the whole long story short, I finally found my place and fulfillment when I became part of a ministry team that cared for other international students. My own needs and preferences didn't matter then. I found warmth in my cookings (both Malaysian and spiritual food) for the hungry. Jesus was right when He said we'll eventually find our lives when we lose them for His sake. And there is no such thing as the perfect church. The treasures we seek are often found in unexpected places, often closer to us than we think.

I still treasure those lonely walks of many miles. Those fogs that surrounded me in the winter became like a shield to my burning heart. Looking back, I now know they prepared me for my darkest hours when I returned home to face an even colder spiritual climate. But I will not kid myself now, cause there'll be darker times ahead.

Blessed are you if you've gone through afflictions of some sort in the past year...cause you ain't gone through nothing yet!

Blessed are you if you have SCARS of some sort...cause you will be like the STARS that shine in the universe! (Phil 2:15 NIV)

What can I do with my obsession?

With the things I cannot see?

Is there madness in my being?

Is it wind the blows the trees?

Sometimes you're further than the moon

Sometimes you're closer than my skin

And you surround me like the winter fog

You've come and burn me with a kiss

And my heart burns for You

And my heart burns....

-From Delirious' Obsession