Last

This is my last entry of the year. Typing this on my last day of work in my company.

This blog is almost one year old. Can't believe it. Where did Time go?

In the beginning, it was kinda awkward to write for public reading, letting unknowns into some of my inner world of thoughts, but later I got used to it. They're not that 'in' anyway.

I realized the power of writing, of disclosing (and not) things. What had been written here were the results of choices of what I chose to reveal. And I also realized there are some things I cannot write though it's my own blog. Great responsibility comes with great power (sounds familiar I know!) Many things can only be written at the right time in future.

It's been a colourful journey this year. The title of the blog has got to do with a journey I've yet to begin, though there were many things seemingly related to it. But those things in the way weren't bad. Nothing is wasted, I believe.

In my first line, I mentioned this is my last day of work. Yes it is, for 2008 and for this company. Times are bad, there is no visibility for a path for me in this place, so my employer had decided to let me go. My contract has run its full course. Though it was so sudden and last minute, thank God a quick solution was found. I secured a job with our company's project partner albeit taking a heavy paycut. It remains uncertain what will happen next year.

Recently I read something about making decisions. It said that at the end of the day, I need to ask what do I really want to do? What would make me the happiest? Then make decisions for the person who is going to live with them - myself. It's true in a way because in both my highest and lowest points of my life this year, I was alone. I realized that whatever choice I make, there will be some (if not many) who will be let down inevitably. The same people who praise you today can be the same ones who curse you tomorrow. Nobody remembers. In my attempts to save the world, I couldn't save myself.

Everything can be turned around.

Nothing is permanent.

I still will not call truce with the Liar.

I have to rethink some things.

'Happy New Year' to me? Not sure about the 'Happy' part, but I can use the 'New'. Talking about 'happy', I can always fit in a Switchfoot song. I loved this truly profound song three years ago, but surprisingly it has brought new meanings to me at this time....so apt that it feels creepy:

Happy Is A Yuppie Word

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Everyone dies, everyone loves a fight

Nothing is sound, nothing is right side right

Evening comes when the sun goes down in red

Nothing is cool, when will all the fighting end

When will all the fighting end

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Happy is a yuppie word

Nothing in the world could fail me now

It's empty as an argument

I'm running down a life that won't cash out

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Everything fails, everything runs it course

A time and a place, for all this love and war

Everyone buys, everyone's got a price

Nothing is new, when will all the failures rise

When will all us failures rise, rise

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Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out

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Happy is a yuppie word

Blessed is the man who's lost it all

Happy is a yuppie word

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Looking for an orphanage

I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down

I don't believe the emptiness

I'm looking for the kingdom coming down

Everything is meaningless

I want more than simple cash can buy

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Happy is a yuppie word, happy is a yuppie word

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Nothing is sound, nothing is sound

Nothing is sound...

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